I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It is with heavy heart that I remind you that it’s Monday once again. Mondays are equivilant to stuffing your face while wearing your two-sizes-too-tight skinny jeans.
We all have that one pair of jeans. The ones you can’t get rid of despite the fact it took 3 people to pry them off last time you wore them. The ones that you try to scrutinize, but your myopic, masochist ego is focused on how many “you look so thin” compliments this denim contraption can produce. The ones you can only button by wiggling each leg in, then laying flat on your back, sucking in your gut, and holding your breath like the existence of all humanity depended on you. Once you have these jeans on, you walk out the door, up to the car and spend 15 minutes critically strategizing and acutely analyzing each step as to how in God’s holy name you will get in the car and sit there for the 10 minute ride. Monday and these jeans are one in the same.
Manic Monday‘s to do list continues with the assasination of noxious germs found on innocuous objects. Grab a bottle of isopropyl/rubbing alcohol (I like 90%, 70% is fine), a slew of Q-tips, some cotton balls, and a microfiber cloth. Mission Annihilation is on.
The following is a list of what to disinfect/ decontaminate, without fail, every single Monday:
- remote controls (tvs, gameboys, ac, cable, apple tv, etc..)
- door knobs (both sides and don’t forget the additional locks, closet doors, kitchen pantry, hall closets)
- light switches (don’t be lazy and use the q-tip on the actual switch)
- house telephones (if it is corded, clean that too)
- intercom phone
- credit cards
- computer keyboards (additionally, we also use The Rainbow with the dust brush)
- printer keypad
- alarm keypad
- cell phones
Door knobs and light switches should be cleaned daily, but that’s just being illusive. Heed my words, these objects are pathogens. It’s all fun and games until someone gets strep throat or bird flu.
The easiest way to handle this is one by one. Do all remote controls first. Then trek throughout your house and do the door knobs. Followed by the light switches. And on and on. Is this fun? Of coarse NOT. Well, maybe if you are dancing to Justin Beiber’s Sorry in the process.
Is it time consuming? YESSS!!!! ABSOLUTELY YESSSS! I so much rather be watching Lisa Vanderpump’s passive aggressive interviews on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Will it keep you from getting conjunctivitis or bird flu? All I can say is that I have not had pink eye since June 1997.
*Mom, do you remember? I got pink eye the night before the Shoe Show and you STILL made me work. #meanboss #outstandingworkethic #showmustgoon #putonsunglassesandstopwhining #outtingmycubanmotheronmyblogguaranteesaphonecall
It may seem excessive and as if my OCD is on autopilot, but in all honesty, it is more about creating a hygienic environment. You will be surprised at the grime you wipe off. Once this becomes a habit, it will become easier and quicker.
So get to work! I have to run, my phone is ringing, wonder who it is?!!!! Don’t forget to follow me on instagram: @jessicathehousewife and on Twitter: @jthehousewife.